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illusionn

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a joke. [Nov. 29th, 2009|01:08 am]
[Current Mood | pensive]

I hate competitiveness;
I hate people who are competitive;
I AM competitive;
I hate myself.

Sometimes I wish I'm not, life would be simpler, more relaxing, more fulfilling. Actually, I find no wrong in being competitive, so that's why I am. But, I hate being competitive. Things are just not up to you given the current situation. You have got to fight your share to survive in this lifeless world. A phenomenon of people going around asking how much have you studied. People telling you, "you have been working so hard and your effort will definitely paid off." A simple sentence of encouragement often put us in a even more stressful position, to obtain something that you may not even achieve even without sleeping for a week. People going around telling others about how hardworking this particular person has been and how slack they themselves are (oblivious to the fact that this shows how much they freaking care). People telling you that they have forgotten to bring their books home to study but when you went into their room, all the books are there except for the one, which is the mod of the next coming paper. People talked to you on msn just to ask you, "How did you find the accounting paper?", "How did you find IT?". You know it's not to concern, but to "test water". Every single thought in you about the paper seems to be a threat to them. Gaining comfort at the expense of others. So, is this how human brain works. All the while, all the time, subconsciously even when we are doing other stuff, we have been constantly thinking about how people are making use of this every single minute to mug, just like now while I am blogging, people are mugging their life away and after this post, someone probably would have finished a chapter on biz law. So why must life be so tough? We are less than a stupid dot on a world map, struggling to become the brightest star. Being the brightest star, not because you shine the most, but because the sky is too dark. Sometimes I wonder if all are worth it. What if we die tomorrow? The things we forget, we neglect and the things that we always thought that there will be a "next time", will there?
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2 more. [Nov. 26th, 2009|02:39 pm]
[Current Mood | hopeful]

2 down and 2 more to go. I dislike draggy exam besides the fact that you are given a little more time to study but it is still not worth it if that little bit of time doesn't help with you still staring blankly at the paper and stunned. Expected but unexpected questions have somehow killed most of my brain cells, and my brain is officially paralyzed. Gonna rest for another half an hour more before I hide at my favourite hangout place and mug again.

Been bunking with different people lately. Sometimes with weeshan wanjing or xiaoting or eli. HAHA. I'm a floating ghost with a room that I don't wish to go back when I'm alone. Level 5 is too remote, for me. Everyone just basically hide in their rooms but even when I see them along the corridor, I doubt we will even talk more than 1 sentence. HAHA. Decided not to go back home this coming weekend. :) Will be staying all the way till exam ends. Can't wait for exam to end omgggg. :D Slacking mood now but still need to study.

OKAY, LAST LAP GO GO!
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stressed [Nov. 25th, 2009|01:29 am]
[Current Mood | depressed]

I got to know what is stressed only until I entered uni. Never been so stressed before but well, got to survive through this exam period anyhow. :D Felt kind of demoralized due to the fact that my 45% is kind of gone. HAHA really want to just pull up the whole damn marks. TRYING LA HUH. Group B people have finished exams. So awesomeeeeeee. Time to partayyyyy for them. Envy to the max to the power of inifinity.

Hungry nowwwwwww.
I don't want to have lousy GPA for Sem 1. :(

Yay haven't been eating dinner for the consecutive 2 days. Kelvin is gonna dabao supper now woohoo.
Ahhhhhhhh. My mind has ceased to work. I THINK I AM DUMB. :(
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SLACK [Nov. 20th, 2009|01:07 am]
[Current Mood | guilty]

Oh my god, I totally hate it when I wasted like 5 hours of my day doing something random or nua-ing when I actually can be more productive. Didn't want to go home initially but mummy said daddy is coming to fetch me. Yay so how can I resist that. Awesome! :D Tonight will have my super comfy bed again.

As usual, I don't know I should be glad or sad to have a dad who keep asking me not to study. HAHA. Is like, he dragged me to watch hong kong drama with him, and kept tempting me omg. THE NEWEST ONE DAMN NICE OK. And now I'm totally addicted. Wanted to mug for my FM but now, well... tomorrow then. Feel so bad. I REALLY NEED SOME DISCIPLINE! :(

I promise to be productive tomorrow. Really really.
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exam blues [Nov. 19th, 2009|06:20 pm]
[Current Mood | cynical]

Here I am, deciding whether I should go home or stay in hall today. All my books are at home but I'm really lazy to drag myself out of the room. How I wish i had a carrrrrrrrr. :D Maybe some teleport super power! Yay. Everyone is having Econs exam now so here I am nua-ing around, trying to find someone to take that ultimate long journey home with me. I should stop wasting time.
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expectation [Nov. 16th, 2009|12:45 am]
[Current Mood | disappointed]

Expectation is something that makes one feel better or worse?
Take a break. Without expectation, never will there be disappointment.

But at times, I really think I deserve better.

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Downnnnnnn [Nov. 12th, 2009|11:18 pm]
[Current Mood | disappointed]

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."
 "Life's problems wouldnt be called hurdles if there wasnt a way to get over them."
 "What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Courtesy of RYAN NOO! :D


Times when there are no options in life.
TImes when things are beyond control.
I have seen it clearly, and I can no longer deceive myself, no more.

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Cheap thrill [Nov. 3rd, 2009|02:45 am]
[Current Mood | thirsty]

Hellos! Now is 245 and I'm still awake. One pig sleeping behind me now. Pris the pig, has been sleeping and sleeping non-stop these few days. Having accounting quiz tomorrow and I'm so going to skip the morning lecture (since I always have no idea what she's talking about) and focus on my quiz. I am studying damn hard for a 10%, so it better be a good one, otherwise I would be damn SAD. Anyway, I was fb-ing and randomly found this application -- Kira application. You know, Kira in the death note. I was damn amused by the application lah and was laughing my head off while studying. HAHAHA.

JiaYi was judged by Kira:

Next week at 4:59 PM, you will be chased by your stalker, while running from him/her you accidentally stepped on a very sticky chewing gum that made you get stuck in the middle ...of the highway. You'll be hit by a 10-wheeller truck crushing you whole body and then you died.

HAHAHHAHAHA ( OK I REALLY FIND IT DAMN STUPID )
Then I went to ask my friends to take it.

Jing Xin was judged by Kira.

In 1 month and 2 weeks, at exactly 10:43 AM. Unexpectedly, you just started singing "I Believe I Can Fly By R. Kelly" and you jumped off from the roof-top of your neighbor's house then you died.

Edwin was judged by Kira.

In 1 week and 3 days, at exactly 3:23 PM. You died because you've crashed a six years old's birthday party in McDonald's, while you're going to your table you bumped on one of the mascots, he got mad at you and put on a fight. You pushed him to the floor, the kids saw it then they got mad at you also so they attacked you with their plastic spoons and forks until you die.

HAHAHAHA this is damn stupid. Cheap thrill ( AGAIN ) I know, but really funny what. Tskkkkk.
Gurantee sleepless night tomorrow cus of accounting presentation on wed and that forever irritating biz plan. ARGH.

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rain rain rain [Oct. 31st, 2009|10:03 pm]
[Current Mood | determined]

Hey sky, you are raining ever so heavily now, and it's freezing cold. I have a strong urge to just abandon everything, jump onto my comfy bed and sleep the night away. :) why can't I bring myself to do it....... BAHHHH. Having a super bad flu now, and I am so gonna chop my nose away if it still keeps running non-stop and hinder my progress. hahaha.

Anyway, I reached home early yesterday! :D Shared cab with Kelvin and I realized he lives super near me. It's like, able to reach my house after 1 min or so after his. Wahlao, I bet all taxi will feel super happy when they fetch NTU students to the east. It's like super ex, not mentioning that it's peak hour! ( super ex when you have to pay alone lah ).

MY DAD IS EATING MANGO BESIDE ME AND HE KEEPS TEMPTING ME.
Okay, I'M GONNA SNATCH MY SHARE. 
Yay I love my parents. :) And I always look forward to nice food every week when I come home. MY FAVOURITE CURRY THIS WEEK. :D:D:D


I will survive through SEM 1 )
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zonked out. [Oct. 26th, 2009|11:55 pm]
[Current Mood | cold]

Anyway, it feels as though I didn't sleep for the whole night. But somehow, I managed to dream some weird dream of some leather soft toy and towel soft toy. -.- Honestly, I DON'T KNOW WHY I DREAMT OF SOFT TOY. Oh no, I feel sooooooo tired. But I can't afford to sleep in the noon, not when I have been spending my time (trying) to sleep in the night. I only have 24 hours right?

Yay, e-lecture tomorrow, meaning no need to go for lecture early in the morning. :D Yays. Cheap thrill, I find joy in e-lecture. I will sleep relatively early today. Okay la, I think I will feel happiest if I don't have to take public transport to and from NTU every week. YAY JOYYYYY AND HAPPINESS. Seriously, I have nothing to blog about. I'm trying not to let my blog die, so I am blogging now and then. But, I'm struggling to find something to blog here. ): Okay, nights.
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